~wistaire

xD heh... just decided to clean up all the crap in my gallery...
sorry for anyone that did fave one of them ;

sometimes you just need to clean up xD~!

Wistaire

Waa, I was really pleasantly surprised when I opened a shop on Gaia Online *please go visit XD [link]* Before I new it I had 16 requests and I had to put a damper on it before I was going to die from all the orders >.<... Within a day I got three *yes, THREE* gifts made for me, which really made my day~!

To see them click theh linkies~!


[link]

[link]

I really really loved this one, this was the message:

*jumps into thread holding up an I <3 Wistaire shirt* Argh! What an awesomely cool person I have just discovered!! *puts on shirt* YEAAAAAAH!!!!!
[link]
- was reading shonenjump XD -
- ignore the fact that it looks like 'mustard' instead -
I just want to say, I think your shop is amazing and....and....*sniffles* No, I told myself I wouldn't do this!!! I won't cry!!! I love you man!!!!

I love you all~!

*cries*

yuck... again, headache... backpain, cramps in my neck and stomache... though that are regular complaints i have.

since, two days ago?.. i've beem having trouble breathing, it's like there's something pressing on my chest. Got an appointment for that with my doctor, though she'll be away till next wednesday T_T... so until then, my mom will be fussing about me XO.

*le sigh* gonna go and find some asperin -_-"

~Wistaire

Yesterday I had a very very bad day... my home work teacher made a few comments after i told her that I was learning and doing homework for school until deep in the night... she didn't believe me, said i was selfish and didn't nearly work as much as i said i did... she went on and on and on... and my mother decided that she agreed with her. No matter what i said, it wasn't true in their eyes... i rushed upstairs and for the first since probably six months i impulsively harmed myself, i cried and was very upset both with myself as with my mother and my teacher (who has grown out to be more of a friend then a teacher). I heard my mother leave the house to do the groceries, and i had expected for my homework teacher to go home after i had ran of. But she came upstairs and knocked on the door to my room... i just... wanted to die of shame... she saw me, bloodied crying... with a razor in my hand. I just wanted to disappear, i felt, and still feel so ashamed! She already knew of my Self-Harm behavior, though had never seen, not that anyone else has, fresh wounds. But unlike becoming mad, like had thought, she cried with me and rocked me back and forth and apologized for being so crude to me when i was already so tired and frustrated with myself. She helped me clean up and we talked a little about the weirdest things... then after a while we went downstairs and just... everything still was like it was before, though i don't know what else I had expected.
She didn't tell my parents about what happened, though I'm scared that she will... So uhmm, yeah... that's kinda what i wanted to lift off of my chest...

sigh... i do feel a little better now...

I haven't been here for about a year... I'm ashamed of myself... man! Uhmmm, nobody cares here but going to write anyway.. ^^"
Since last time I was transferred back to my old school, although I'm two years behind I'm really glad that i pushed through. I'm going on to second year, hopefully it will pass peacefully and fast. Umm, i don't think i mentioned this before but I'm a self-harmer... over the last two to three years I've been cutting and hitting myself, vomiting and all that shit.. I'm glad to say that now I'm feeling more optimistic those tendencies disappeared with my depresion...

All in all I'm doing good, awsome really... my art still sucks, but aww well... whatever i draw i can't even upload since all three scanners that we have are broke... damn those things!

~wistaire~